The Beginning of Faith

Almost every girl who gets into stripping does so with the thought that it is just going to be a temporary thing.

"I'll just do it until my bills are paid.." or
"I'll just do it for 3 months; long enough to get back on my feet.."
"This is just temporary.."

These were the things the other strippers and I would hear the new girls say, and we would look knowingly at each other and say "Mmmmm hmmm. Sure you'll only be here for a couple of months."

I was no different. My last post ended with me talking about not being able to afford my apartment. These are the events that led up to me actually taking that plunge.

My friend Diamond had been stripping since she turned 18, about 6 months before my 18th birthday. During this time, she had become quite the star at the club. She started dating one of the managers, Derik (you want to remember this name), and moved into his house in Dallas. They were secretly dating, however, because managers were not supposed to have outside relationships with the dancers. One night, I get a call from Diamond and she wants to come see me. So she and Derik come to my apartment. When she stepped out of the car, I was shocked. She was wearing this tiny white dress that looked amazing with her deep tan, long highlighted hair, manicured nails and 5 inch white heels complete with straps that tied up to her calves. Don't get my wrong, she looked beautiful, but she looked like a high class hooker and my first thought was, OMG, She hooked up with a pimp!

Thankfully, he was not a pimp, but he turned out not to be much better. That's another story though, and we will talk about that later. But my first impression of this man was that he was butt ugly and why the heck was my beautiful best friend dating this guy? Anyway, they came into the apartment and after talking with them for a little bit, I saw why she was with him. He was charming and funny and had a way of making you feel like you the most important thing in the room. We hit it off great, and at that time, he got the best friend approval.

We ended up discussing my money problems and knowing he was the manager of the club, I asked him if he thought I could work there. He looked me up and down for a minute and then told me that he thought I could make a lot of money. I was flattered for some odd reason, and I thought that I would maybe go up there and see about a job.

I still wasn't sure that I was really going to pursue stripping, until I had some trouble with a manager at Jack in the Box. Long story short, he made me mad, so I quit. I immediately regretted my decision to quit and the reality sunk in that I had no source of income, so I called Derik and he told me to come up to the club and fill out an application. I got this older guy Byron that I knew from the apartment complex to take me up there, and I met up with Derik and he took me into the manager's office to talk with me about working there.

As soon as I walked into the club, I felt like a piece of meat. There were so many guys in there and as I walked to the bar, guys were coming up to me, trying to talk and proposition me, and I didn't even work there yet! I was fully clothed, but I felt very uncomfortable. I wish I could tell you that I turned around and walked out, but I didn't.

I went to the office, and sat down at the desk. Derik told me about how everything worked while I filled out my app. House fees, scheduling requirements, tip outs; he covered it all. I gave him my ID and got all the paper work filled out, and then..... he told me to get naked.

I was like, "Um.... what?"

And he said to me, " How do you expect to get naked in front of a room full of men, when you can't even get naked in front of one?"

And ya know, he had a point. So, I stripped down and spun in a circle for him and another manager. That was the first time I felt like an object being appraised, and I didn't like the feeling. But they nodded their approval, and for some odd reason, I was happy about that approval. It gave me a sense of worth. He then  asked me what I wanted to dance by. No one goes by their real names in the club. It's a way of detaching your club persona from the person that you really are, but in most cases, the two inevitably become one. I felt silly about making up a phony name, and Derik was looking at my application, and said "You know, I really like your middle name, Faith." So Faith it was.

He told me to come back the next night and I could start then. The next day, I had Byron take me to the Northside Bazaar where they had a stripper store. I bought one stripper outfit, because those things are expensive and a pair of really ugly clear 4 inch heels. I went home and that night I practiced in front of the mirror. I wish I would have realized how stupid I looked; maybe I would've chickened out.

But I showed up the next day. I went back to the dressing room and was immediately SO intimidated by the other girls, who were obviously sizing me up. I went and changed in the bathroom, because I was nervous about a room full of women seeing me naked. Kind of ironic, huh? Anyway, after I was dressed, Derik took me to go meet Wolfe, the DJ, who gave me my first dollar and explained to me how the sets worked and where to go after I got off main stage. Then I sat down and waited for my turn on stage. Diamond could tell I was nervous and sent her friend Jordan to get me a bottle of Hypnotic from the liquor store next door, but I couldn't bring myself to drink it. I hadn't developed a taste for liquor yet.

That was one of the most nerve racking hours of my life. I watched the other girls, and they looked so graceful and skilled, and I knew I wouldn't look half as good as they did. It seemed like just a couple of minutes went by, when the DJ gave the call that meant I was next on stage.

I went to the back dressing room to get ready and my heart was beating out of my chest. I went over what they told me. I was going to be dancing to 2 rap songs. The first song I had to get topless, but I could keep my bottoms on, but the second song, I had to be completely nude.... I was terrified.

They called me out onto the stage, and I thought I was going to have a heart attack.... and then I stepped out into the lights.... and all my nervousness disappeared. I had come this far and I was going to do it. I could see the faces of these guys leering at me and I was filled with disgust, but also something else... a sense of power. These guys were giving me money just to look at me! I was desirable, I was wanted and that made me feel so good about myself. My first shift flew by. I worked from 7 PM to 4 AM and I was exhausted by the end of the night, and Byron came to take me home. I counted my earnings in the car on the way home. I started on a Wednesday night and I made $300 in ONE NIGHT! I was one of those girls that said, "Oh, this is just temporary!", but once I realized how much money I could make, combined with that feeling of power, I was hooked.

The plan was to strip for the next 4 months, until I could move out of my apartment. I ended up staying for 3 years.