Setting the Stage

After I graduated early in February 2005, I was still 17. I wouldn't turn 18 until that July, and I didn't quite know what to do with myself. I was thankful I was finally out of that hell hole called high school and excited to become a productive member of society. I figured the worst was behind me. Ha. Famous last words.

I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life at that time. I knew I wanted to get married and have kids one day, but I didn't really count on that happening. I mean, who was going to want to marry someone that was tainted like I was? And as far as kids went, I didn't think I could have any. My promiscuity really wreaked havoc on my reproductive system, and I hadn't got pregnant yet.... so surely that meant I was barren. Just another reason to hate myself. I never really considered college. My grades weren't terrible, but no one had ever talked to me about college, or pushed me towards that goal, and I decided that it wasn't for me, at least not right then. But I set out on a mission to become independent, and I got my first job at Jack in the Box, a fast food joint, which by the way, is terrible for you, but delicious. We don't have them in Tennessee and that makes me sad. I was making a whopping $5.75 dollars an hour, about $300 dollars on every paycheck. And I decided that I wanted to move out of my mom's house. I had a friend named Amber in high school that I got pretty close to, and we talked about it, and decided we were going to get an apartment together. So July came around, I turned 18, and we moved into this HORRIBLE all bills paid complex, complete with meth heads and drug addicts. But we were excited! We were on our own, and this was the first step in becoming independent from my mom. She had always helped me financially with everything I needed, but I was going to make it on my own, and not ask her for help anymore. This might have been actually do-able, but I didn't have a car, or know how to drive, so If my roommate wasn't home, guess who had to call Mama to take her somewhere?

Well, everything was going pretty smoothly for a couple of months, until Amber one day informs me that she wants to go to college in South Carolina? North Carolina? I don't remember. And I'm like, ok, but our lease isn't up yet! I told her that she would have to talk to the apartment manager about breaking the lease and we would just move out, because I worked at Jack in the Box! I made $600 dollars a month, and that's how much the rent was. I wouldn't be able to afford the apartment anymore without her, so we made plans to move out.

Well, I don't know if she ever talked to the apartment manager, all I know is that she moved out and when I went to inform them I was moving, they told me the lease wasn't up and if I moved out, I would have to pay $2000 in fees! Needless to say, I freaked out. I didn't know what the heck I was going to do, but I didn't want to have to go crawling back to my mom for help.

Now, we are going to rewind a little bit.

Remember my friend Diamond, who hooked up with my ex? Well, after they got together, I was heart broken. I went to her house, got all my stuff back from her, gave all her stuff back and we went our separate ways. I was so mad at her and it took me a good 6 months to get over the pain of what had happened. But get over it I did, and I called her on her birthday in January, wished her a happy birthday and told her I was ready to be friends again. I have always been a very forgiving person, and her friendship was not something I wanted to sacrifice over a stupid boy. Yeah, it hurt, but I loved her enough to see past it. So we started hanging out again. She had an apartment of her own, and one day she and her roommate came to my house. Diamond asked me if she could borrow a pair of pretty panties and some high heels... I though it was a strange request, but I said ok, and then I asked why? And she told me that she got a job at a strip club and she was going to dance that night. Well, I couldn't believe it, but she was beautiful and I knew she would do well. She started dancing, and one night when I was hanging out with her and her roommate, they decided they were going to go to work. So I went with them to the strip club. I was 17 the first time I ever walked through those doors. I got around being ID'ed by telling them I was checking it out because I wanted to work there, which quickly became true as soon as I saw the amount of money being thrown around in there. I'll never forget the first time I saw Diamond on stage. She looked so good up there, like she belonged and I saw all the money she was making, and I decided then and there that as soon as I turned 18 I was going to work in the club too.

I didn't seriously consider working at the club until I realized that I couldn't afford my apartment. Then, it seemed like the only reasonable solution.