So, life goes on, and I'm still stripping. My one year anniversary of working in the club rolls by, and I'm like "What?" Where did that year go? It slipped by so fast, but sadly, I spent most of it messed up. But by this time, I had really hit my stride. I was in my comfort zone at the club. It was the first place in my life that I could be my own person. Maybe that doesn't make sense. What I mean is that, my whole life I had always just been someones little sister. I was never known for me, or something that I had done. It was always, "OH! Your Jessica ( Andrea, Cliff's) little sister." I was the tag-a-long, the third wheel, the friend that always got pushed aside when a better, cooler friend came into the picture. But at the strip club? I was Faith. Yes, I was Diamond's best friend. We were our own little clique and that is how we liked it. We would talk to other girls and be cool with everybody else, but at the end of the day, that was my best friend, and not just in the club, either. I had her back through everything, and she had mine. When she started having problems with Derik, she came to my house. And later, when I needed her, I stayed with her.
I kind of came into my own at the club. Like I said, this was the first time in my life I wasn't being compared to my siblings. Stripping was something that I could be good at, and I went for it. I watched the money-makers and the best dancers in the club to see what they were doing. I practiced and mastered moves that I saw the other girls do. I taught myself pole tricks and how to do the splits. I learned how to do my hair and put on stage makeup. I learned which outfits would flatter my figure more so I could make more money. I was serious about it. And it worked. After a while, I was known. I would walk in, and people would say hi to me. I started to get regular customers who I could count on for a couple of lap dances. I made friends with the bartenders, the door girls, the house moms, the bouncers and the other girls. It's sad, but that place was the first place I ever felt accepted for who I was. Too bad that I wasn't really that person.
It wasn't all bad all the time. There were little bits of light that would shine through the darkness every once in a while. There was Mama Kim, the house mom who quit dancing after she had a baby. She was the most trustworthy of all the house moms, and was the only one I trusted with my money. There was Ken, the manager that married Mama Kim, got his affairs in order, and took himself and his wife out of there. Dilemma, the beautiful Mexican girl who chose life for her baby after facing the agonizing choice to abort. I was so proud of her that I bought her baby a gift. Her best friend Jazzy, whose relationship with Dilemma reminded me of the special bond between Diamond and I, and Denise, who danced to support her kids, but never got into the drugs and the drama. There was Silver, who started dancing when she was 40 to put herself through nursing school, and provided all of us with the saucy black mama that everyone needs sometimes, Delilah, the aspiring song-writer/singer who cared so much about one of the girls that she wrote a song for her, and Susan, the door girl, who would cut deals for my friends when they would come in, and also watched my money for me when I got too wasted to know what I was doing.
Then there were some customers that just weren't bad guys. Anthony, an older man whose wife died, who never wanted me to dance for him. He would pay me $20 dollars for every game of pool I played with him. Sarge, who could have smacked my butt every time I walked by, but instead, complimented my make-up. And Ron, who would always give me $5 dollars when I was onstage, but never stayed to watch me dance. When another stripper got pregnant and needed help financially because she couldn't dance, he helped with her medical bills, and later, after I went straight, he did my taxes for me.
Not everyone who works in or comes to the strip clubs are horrible people. Yeah, you got some girls who are in it solely for the money and love it. Those are the girls that end up stripping until their bodies aren't good enough to make good money, and then they go to other things to make the money. It's unfortunate, but true. But a common misconception is that everyone is like that. There are plenty of girls in there who do it to support their kids or pay for school, or they don't want to be there at all, but have been trafficked in illegally and have no other choice but to do it, and act like they like it.
Then you have your party boys who love the strip clubs. They love to go party, drink and they like the attention from girls who would never look their way if it wasn't for the money. But there are older men whose wives died, and they are lonely, or men whose self worth is so low that they feel like they have to pay a woman to spend time with them.
So don't be so quick to judge, because you just don't know.
P.S. I won't be writing again until after the holidays. I'm going to see family and I don't want to cut into my time with them by writing, so I will post again in January. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone! And don't forget to pray for those who may not have a family to celebrate with. There will be many women working in the clubs Christmas day, and just as many customers with no family.
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