Stupid Choices

Sorry for not writing yesterday everyone. I needed a little break, but now I'm back on it.

So, my last post ended up with Chris and I moving in together, but I missed a couple of things that happened that are worth mentioning. Sorry about skipping around, but the memories come to me out of nowhere sometimes, and I realize after writing a post that I missed something in that particular time period.

Before I hooked up with Chris, I was living the life. I was partying, having fun and doing whatever I wanted, and I didn't have to answer to anyone. I would spend my weekends with Diamond and Derik and we had some crazy times. We got drunk just about every weekend, but Derik and Diamond were starting to have some problems. She would talk to me about it, but I just didn't see what the problem was. To me, Derik was a great guy. I looked at him as a true friend who genuinely cared about me, and I just didn't get it when she told me about the way he treated her behind closed doors. I wish I would have listened.

Diamond's 19th birthday rolled around and we had a huge party for her. We went to this big club in downtown Dallas, rented out the the VIP, and stayed there for a while before hitting another club's VIP. If you have never partied with strippers before (and I'm assuming most of you havn't), things get wild. We all got drunk and crazy and a lot of the bouncers that worked at the club were there too, including our friend Dave. It was practically a big orgy. I know, I know, you probably don't want to hear these things, but that's how things went down.

Me and Dave had always had this kind of flirtation thing going on. We never acted on it; I mean, we were co-workers, but we were also friends, and even though we were kind of digging on eachother, we just didn't go there. Until the night of this birthday bash, anyway. Everyone was drunk and ready to go, and the plans were to go back to Derik's house and continue partying until we all passed out. I decided to ride with Dave and we decided to make a pit stop. In an empty parking lot in the middle of Dallas. Looking back, not such a great choice, but we were drunk and our judgement was gone and we decided that we couldn't wait to get back to the house; we were going to mess around in his car. Well, we start messing around and before too long, we hear a BANG BANG BANG on the window of his car. We looked up, and there is a bright flashlight at the window and a voice saying "Open up!"

Well, what do you know, it's the police. They pulled me out of the car and started asking a bunch of questions:
"Who is that guy?"
"He's my boyfriend."
"Oh yeah? What's his last name?"
"Uhhhh......."
"How much did he pay you?"
"WHAT?!"

They accused me of being a prostitute and I was shocked. I mean, yeah, I looked a little slutty. I was a stripper and I was at a party, so I guess I did look a little whorish, but I had NEVER in my life been accused of that, and I was embarrassed and insulted. They handcuffed me and put me in the cop car while I cried and explained to them that I worked with him at a strip club and I didn't know his last name, but I was NOT a prostitute. Thank God that they believed me. We were sent on our way with a warning and we never tried anything with each other again. That same night I slept with one of Derik's other friends.

The other story worth mentioning is one of the stupidest mistakes I almost made. I had an especially sucky week at the club, and I hadn't been to work in a couple of days, because I didn't have the money to take a cab, and I couldn't find anyone to take me and I was out of food. I had so much pride that I wouldn't call my mom to even help me with food at that time. I didn't want her to come around and start asking questions about why I didn't have any food if I had a job at Jack in the Box, so I was just hungry. I had met this guy at the club who was a pimp. I don't even remember his name anymore, but he told me from the get-go that he was a pimp and that he wanted me to come work for him, but I was like, "No way!" I was better than those girls who had to sell sex to get money, and I would never go there. He gave me his number anyway and told me if I ever needed anything to call.

Well, at this time, I desperately needed food. So instead of calling my mom, who was 10 minutes away, to come bring me some food, I called this pimp. He said he was on his way to get me and he came to my apartment, picked me up and took me back to his house in Dallas. I was very uncomfortable as he introduced me to his "bottom bitch", Star (sorry about the cursing, but thats the term they use) and his other chick. For those of you who don't know, a bottom bitch is a pimp's main girl, usually the mother of his children, and the first girl who started working for him. I mean, it was weird! They were raising children in that house, and when his other girl got home, she went straight to him and gave him all her money. It was crazy. He then sent me with Star to go get some food, because he knew I was hungry and we went to go get some chinese food. While we were there, something strange happened that had never happened to me before. I started feeling sick while we were waiting for our food, so I told Star I was going to go outside for a second. I went outside and sat down, but I kept feeling worse and worse. I had this terrible tingly feeling on the back of my neck and I didn't know what the heck was wrong with me. Well, Star came out with our food and we start walking to the car and BOOM! I passed clean out and fell flat on my face in the parking lot. When I came to, all I saw was Star above me, screaming into the phone "This bi**h just passed out!!!" She got me up and to the car, and I leaned my head on the car while she tried to get the door open.... and a couple minutes later I woke up and I was on the ground again. Star was freaking out. Apparently, I passed out again, but this time I had a seizure. I couldn't see or really talk right as she got me into the car and she shoved an eggroll in my mouth. A couple of minutes later I started to feel decent again. I looked in the mirror, and I had a huge, fat bloody lip from where I fell on my face. I went back to the pimp's house and he asked me if I wanted to go home. I said yes.

I thank God for his intervention. I had never passed out or had a seizure before and I wasn't on any drugs when this happened. I believe that God caused this to happen to me, so that I would be so freaked out that I went home. That pimp didn't have to let me leave. But I think the whole ordeal scared them into thinking if I stayed, they would have to deal with a dead white girl on their hands in the morning. I believe he also kept me from getting arrested for prostitution. That would have forever been on my record and would have haunted me my whole life. I thank my sisters for the prayers they prayed over me constantly. I don't know what would have happened if they hadn't been covering me.

If you are reading this, and you have family members or friends that are living a dangerous lifestyle, PRAY PRAY PRAY!!! I had protection and it is because of the prayers of my family. Things could have turned out a lot differently for me, but because of  my family's persistance, I eventually came to the Lord. Don't give up on that person... your prayers could be saving their life.