I'm Back!!!

Hey everyone!!!

As the title suggests, I'm back. It's a new year and one of my resolutions is to Finish This Story!!!! I don't have many followers, but those of you who do follow, thank you for your interest and I am very sorry that I dropped the ball. I had a baby, got really busy, lost access to this account for God knows how long and I recovered the password and everything a couple months ago, got busy again and didn't start it back up.

But now.... I'm ready to start writing again.

A lot has happened since I last wrote. My baby is not such a baby anymore; he is closing in on 2 years old and that is just crazy. Me and hubs made a big move, but its a temporary one and I would rather not go into detail about that. You never know who is reading! I am pregnant AGAIN, and this little one is a boy as well and is due in May just like his big brother. I will be having a natural water birth at a birth center this time and we are anxiously awaiting baby number two's arrival. Also, (and this is a big thing) I have forgiven a certain person from my past that I didn't think I would ever be able to forgive. That's right. The infamous Derik. I admittedly had some unresolved bitterness that I have carried for years and if you recall, I admitted that in one of my posts. I had a bad habit of bad mouthing him every time someone would bring his name up around me and although I felt at the time that I was justified, I was absolutely in the wrong. As a christian woman, that is unacceptable.

Everything came to a head when on a visit to my hometown, I hung out with a mutual friend of ours and when his name came up, I started getting a little mouthy. He heard about what I said and decided to contact me through another mutual friend since I have him blocked on FB and he has no way to contact me directly. I read his letter and although it was rather passive aggressive and he had some choice words about this blog, he was right about one thing: I did need to stop bad mouthing him because it has been a long time. I wrote back a response right away, but did not send it, because I needed some time to think. I thought about it and prayed about it and I felt like God was telling me, it's time. Forgive him.

So I did.

I prayed and asked God to forgive me for the unforgiveness in my own heart and then I wrote him back and told him that I was sorry and that I would never talk bad about him again. I told him that I forgave him for the way he treated me and asked him to forgive me for the way I talked about him. I washed my hands of the old hurts that relationship caused me and let God heal those places in me that I would not allow him to touch before because the wounds were just too raw.

I have never felt more free.

I feel as if the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders and that I have FINALLY closed the door on that part of my life. I didn't realize that my unforgiveness was what was keeping me from going deeper in my walk with God or that it was holding me back from my ability to enter into worship freely with him. But that's what it was and now that it's gone, I can really see a difference.

That does not mean, however, that I will be deleting a whole section of my life from this blog. I still feel that the entire story needs to be told, but I will be telling it from a place of compassion instead of a place of bitterness. The truth is still the truth, regardless of how my attitude towards it may have changed.

Stay tuned and God bless. :)